IAS- A dream for many

As from the title, you may conclude that my topic is related to a job which is a dream for many in India. It can be seen from the lakhs of aspirants which appear in the exam(conducted by UPSC) every year. I’m not writing this to describe about this exam or anything else. I just want to put my perspective which I think may be agreeable for some but not everyone. Do you think every aspirant because of their love for nation want to become an IAS i.e a Bureaucrat( those intellectuals without whom government can’t run smoothly& development can’t occur in acountry).Just try to think. At present, this exam has become a rat race. In Delhi many students come with this dream. In my college most of the students were IAS aspirants. Most of their negotiations were related to India & its problem & how they can be overcame? When they gave answers to the questions asked by teachers, I always thought that they will become true bureaucrats in future. I have seen many interviews on news channels, youtube of the aspirants. They are mind blowing. But I don’t know why then India’s bureaucracy is most corrupted. You may relate this if you like to. Last year I remember one of the teachers asked Why do you want to become a civil servant? Three four students sitting behind me said money, money & let me tell you those students were good in academics. Do you think if one day they become civil servants, will they be able to do justice to this job.. I’m not offending anybody by writing all these things, I just want to say that if your heart says yes for this job( or I should say a service) then only you should do this because then you will be able to do justice to this job. As you’ll have to spend rest of your life in this field working for better future of the country.

If you like it, plz do share😊


Destiny? A bitter or sweet truth

So what is destiny? Is it something which can’t be explained or is it a thing which can exist only if someone started to have faith in it? Not everyone believe in it. Some believe in it initially & sometimes it become conspicuous after occuring of some incident in the life. It is believed that through hardwork, firm determination you can achieve anything in life. But is it so? Is this a 100%surity? In my opinion not everyone develop these qualities, these virtues come in person because it was in their destiny, something they wiil achieve in their life. Circumstances or situation starts to evolve in a way that takes these people to their point of success. Some will take this point as related to materialism(i.e wealth, fame,power). But some became satisfied even without these things & some enjoy the ride of life without any specific aim. They just do what they want to do not what society wants them to do. I have seen that some people don’t dream of a particular job. For instance, there are people who just want to travel in the whole world and make memories in every part of the world.For them this is their job. In the same way, some wants to live a luxurious life, have big houses, cars but some just want to live in woods away frome these people, this type of life. Everyone has different perceptions and outlooks for the life. Some get to live the life they want but some not. Why? Because it was written in their destiny. You will be imagining of me as a fatalist. I don’t believe in such thing. A single word can never define you. Importance of efforts & endeavours can’t be denied in one’s life because without these life will be monotonous but it is also true on other side that not everyone make these efforts. In today’s life, getting happiness is also a success point( like you got a job in Apple, Google, became an IAS🤔). For happines also you have to make efforts. Are you thinking that I’m going towards spiritualism in my talks? No, I’m just writing what is coming in mind right now. It’s like a mixture of feelings.Overthinking is not good but thinking deeply(in a positive way) seldom makes your mind fresh & cool & you starts to see life in a whole different way.

A Corner

Though it seems ordinary, but, it is an irreplaceable part of our life. Everybody has a corner. Where we can hide, grow , escape,lose or wait depending on our own unique circumstances. There was a girl roaming everywhere(not on ground) trying to find her place.Though she was living with a happy & loving family somewhere on a latitude or longitude on the earth. But she was always on a walk of curiosity about this life full of people, with more concrete & less trees. She was always happy in her reserved life(reserved for others, but for her it was an open life) because she has found her corner. But later this corner, became a place where she was loosing herself. Why? Because, one day she allowed. Till now, she has not been able to able to make this corner a place to grow & heal, but something is there which is telling her to that one day this corner (it’s a metaphor) will make you a person you were never before.

For me writing( & introspection) is my corner, where I sometime come to hide, other day may be escaping from something or some day to gain some strength.

Everyone have a little corner here in so much space available to us. It can be anything say, Gandhiji, for whom welfare of people was his corner & that’s why he was trying to establish “Ram Rajya”( But I think he was living in cloud cuckoo land when he was thinking about something like this because we all know, we humans are not a straight line but………..). You can end this the way you like.

Today, I am writing this because today is a day(it starts with B——y) for which everyone waits, but, I am waiting when today will become tomorrow because this time I am not strong enough to face it. Though my loved ones made it special for me, but sometimes you feel a void which only time can cover but not heal( if you are true).I am going astray now, I think it’s enough for today. I have taken some strength out of my corner for the time being.😊

Where you want to be in 5 yrs?

Sorry, but I have stolen this topic from a movie named ‘The Kissing Booth 2’.I kinda have love for watching movies in which you can see true love,though virtually. As in real life, it’s very expensive, everyone can’t have it but lucky ones.Like movie I’m not writing an essay for college admission but applying for getting degree in happiness in 5 yrs. Because right now I’m very far away but life is giving me free coaching & I am trying to understand every lesson.

I’m trying to know myself, want to know why everytime I doubt my worth. If you have read my earlier write-ups you know what type of person I am. I tried to overcome all those shortcomings, but again, here I am , from where I started & even lost a part on the way. For three months , I have been living with my two friends who accompanied me in this Covid lockdown, that is, tears & overthinking. They had soaked everything out of me. Nothing left in the godown..

You know what’s the most difficult thing in life is to live in present. We keep clinging onto the past & even want to control our outcomes.

Oscar Wild has said,”To live is the rarest thing in the world,most people exist, that is all.” That’s , Where I want to be in next five years. I don’t know why I am writing this today, but felt light now after writing this.I have to get MoU with my mind & let ‘hope’ become my torch bearer.

Worthiness of listening

As today’s world is more inclined towards extrovertness, speaking seems more important for most of you. But listening is as vital as speaking, even outweighs it. Dalai Lama had quoted that ‘When you talk you are only repeating what you already know, But if you listen, you may learn something new”.I’m adherence to this saying as learning is life. But you not only learn new things, it even rejuvenates your mind and impel your mind to ponder over the new things that are put in your mind bucket. Better you listen, Better you speak.Are you in consensus with this or not ? If yes, then it is a thumbs up & if not you can try to inculcate this habit. But as you all know every human being is different, has different opinions, choices, dispositions & so forth. It’s your independent choice. Sometimes, I have seen that listening can become a medium of curing.For instance, try to listen to an embattled person or a sick or a lonely person, you will know the true meaning and importance of listening. It can become a tool of healing.At times, instead of giving advice or suggestions, listening to someone seems more important. Having patience and respecting other’s outlooks can be of helpful in this process.It opens up our mind in different ways and make us broad-minded. I’m not denying the fact that Speaking is important in today’s modern & outspoken world but as world is advancing rapidly & involving in their modern imbroglio, listening to others has become less likely. Better listening can make you a better person & can improve your speaking skills. In your both personal and professional arenas it’s benefits can be availed.

Hope you like or I should say understand my feelings.

Fake world

Someone said that your thinking can make you smile or weep. But this world is no more a happier place.It has only become a place where there is no value of a person’s feelings, emotions only that matters is formality or show off. They respect you or love you for your position that you have, the way you looks, the standard you have or till you can be useful to them. Life is a beautiful gift of God given to humans to relish to its full level but these relations, peoples’ ego, their selfishness halts you from taking pleasure in life. But this is not in one’s control. You attached with someone, you can say, sometimes automatically. We can only know ourselves, what other is thinking we have no idea in today’s world. Anyone, Anytime and Anywhere can betray you. So always be ready for these times from beginning to involve in any human relationships. Sometime you will feel on the top of the world and other minute you will be on basement of this world. I read somewhere that you should be careful enough to identify characters as good or evil in your life.But you tell, is it possible to do this? Feelings get out of control. Oh yah, but there is one thing we can do, never do wrong from your side. Always be in a try to never get on the verge of having guilt because it can sometimes break you from inside.Sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is nothing at all as it doesn’t mean that you escape but don’t want to indulge in argument with someone who just don’t understand. I’m seeing this world as fake because only wearer knows where shoe pinches. I feel relax after writing because sometimes you can’t speak up things to others in front though pain is there but to some extent it ease out the pain. You will be thinking that oh she is so negative but truly I’m not so. I hate doing formalities. Person should be same from both inside and outside. I write when this world or it’s characters hurts me but I have other options also like drawing or listening to music to relieve this. But it seems a better option to a person like me. My way of enjoying life may seem different from others but you all know everyone’s motive at the end is to be happy. Ups and downs like mountains remain along on the way of this life.

Can only company make you happy?

Man is a social animal as Aristotle said. He can’t live in isolation from the society. He is always surrounded by people sometimes fake ones. Most of the people love to enjoy this life with their companies but some believe to enjoy their own company. In that nature, books & music becomes your friend. Tranquility can become equivalent to revel of the company. In today’s time, fake ones exist more than real ones. Often, they left you in the middle of the road without any regret in their hearts. They aren’t connected with you by the core of the heart as today’s world believes in materialism. The quote by Franz Kafka, “The limited circle is pure” has now become one of the principles of my life. What do you think of it’s implication in this materialistic & emotionless life? The choice is yours. When you start to feel the beauty of nature, fragrance in books and music as healer to dolefulness, you become eligible to relish this beautiful & incredible gift of God i.e life in your own way. Self interest is in basic nature of human which drives him throughout his entire life that can make your company less stable. You need to be picky with whom you share or spend your precious time. Now a days, peoples’ lives are covered with the blanket of fakeness- but not all as world can’t go ahead without balance. As you can see, title of this post is ‘Can only company make you happy?’.The rational answer will be that your way of thinking can allude that you will be happy not the type of company you have. Top priority is pleasure…..without any confusion. You should live your life wholeheartedly with no influence of others as it is your life not theirs. I know, when you listen more to others & not your conscience, you become perplexed.

Not company but you make yourself happy with ability of patience & positivenesss even though you are surrounded by fake people.

You will be wondering why I used this picture in the post. Like this tree a man can make rain possible or can be withered away by strong wind. You need to be determined as you are always surrounded by clouds(people).

Hope, you liked my post or I should say feelings ooze out of the earthen pot(metaphor for heart).

Who am I ?

I just want to share feelings of a person who is introvert and have lack of confidence. I should say confidence less than zero. When someone is only introvert then its fine but when this flaw of zero confidence come along with this, it can make his life hell or I should say make him handicapped. As he is not able to do anything, eyerthing seems difficult to him even trivial things. Introvert is often seems as an anti-social, who does not want to talk to anyone,never participates in anything. Some even sees him as an egoistic. They are, most of the times, seen from the negative outlook. Introvert(personality)+ lack of confidence(flaw) can stop a person from living his life with jouissance. He lives his life like a corpse. Always…. thinks that he is not fit into this world. I am able to write these things because I am alike to this persona.I know ,what it feels ,when you starts to see yourself as useless because of your complicated character and mind which always overthinks. How it feels when you aren’t able to make friends, can’t face people & can’t do things you want to do in this one & only life?This can only be answered by a person who is suffering from this disease(metaphor). I thought of writing because I just want to speak out things by writing as it’s more comfortable than speaking.

You can speak up the things while sitting alone ,only by writing- (in eyes of an introvert with no confidence)

An experienced person can write on motivational or inspirational topics but a person like me have only feelings and views on which I can write upon.